[Arm-netbook] Totally derailed topic

[fuumind]

On Wed, 10 May 2017 23:44:29 +0100
Luke Kenneth Casson Leighton <lkcl at lkcl.net> wrote:

> On Wed, May 10, 2017 at 10:23 PM, zap <zapper at openmailbox.org> wrote:
> 
> > it is sad because they think they will be rewarded at the end. But they
> > already have their temporary very short term reward. Though they deserve
> > it, I feel a mixture of pity and anger towards them.
> 
>  steady, zap: i struggle with anger towards people who've betrayed me
> (etc.) - so i'm not the person to say "don't do that"... even though i
> know it's doing *me* harm to be so angry i can't even sleep at night,
> sometimes.  what i would like to say is: f you manage to get your
> anger under control, do tell me how you managed it, ok? :)
> 
> l.

I've struggled with anger in the past as well and have tried to read up on the subject in order to get it under control. What I've learned so far and what has helped me is the understanding that anger is like a notificatin from within yourself that you or someone around you is not getting his or her needs met properly. Maybe you or someone else is getting bullied och treated badly at work, then the need for respect is not being met. Our job is to try to figure out what unmet needs are hidden behind the feeling of anger. When you look at anger this way it becomes a tool rather than a burden. This applies to other emotions as well, such as guilt and shame.

If I remember correctly these thoughts have their roots in Nonviolent Communication.

/fuumind