[Arm-netbook] Totally derailed topic

[mike.valk at gmail.com]

2017-05-11 0:44 GMT+02:00 Luke Kenneth Casson Leighton <lkcl at lkcl.net>:

> On Wed, May 10, 2017 at 10:23 PM, zap <zapper at openmailbox.org> wrote:
>
> > it is sad because they think they will be rewarded at the end. But they
> > already have their temporary very short term reward. Though they deserve
> > it, I feel a mixture of pity and anger towards them.
>
>  steady, zap: i struggle with anger towards people who've betrayed me
> (etc.) - so i'm not the person to say "don't do that"... even though i
> know it's doing *me* harm to be so angry i can't even sleep at night,
> sometimes.  what i would like to say is: f you manage to get your
> anger under control, do tell me how you managed it, ok? :)
>

If the effect is not immediate we have the tendency to ignore. "I'm driving
200Km/h on the high way without crashing for four days so what's the
problem? Let's up it another 10"

When other people do things that "hurt" you the first reaction might be
anger. We immediately think that they hurt us on purpose. But in fact
70-90% time they are just doing what suits them. Not on purpose to you and
blissfully unaware of the effects it has on you. You vent you anger and
hurt them back. Only to be repaid with more hurting and anger. So anger
might not be your best response. It is however a natural one. Just like
tensing on impact while release might be a better one.

But beware of the trap that you disallow yourself to feel hurt because they
didn't do it on purpose. They did hurt you and they need to stop their
behavior even though it might be even unconsciously.

With hurt I mean it in a widest sense every form of mental of physical pain
on any level from touch to damage, from discomfort to inability.

The mental pain is a perceived one and with change of perception you can
alleviate the pain.


>
> l.
>
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