[Arm-netbook] Totally derailed topic

Tor, the Marqueteur Marqueteur at FineArtMarquetry.com
Thu May 11 10:47:01 BST 2017

On 10/05/17 20:49, mike.valk at gmail.com wrote:
> But beware of the trap that you disallow yourself to feel hurt because
> they didn't do it on purpose. They did hurt you and they need to stop
> their behavior even though it might be even unconsciously.

Yes and no.  If they didn't do it on purpose, and didn't mean to hurt,
you might as well let the hurt go and forgive them.  That doesn't mean it
isn't a good idea to let them know that it does hurt, so they can be
aware of it in the future.

> With hurt I mean it in a widest sense every form of mental of physical
> pain on any level from touch to damage, from discomfort to inability.

The gradations of hurt you mention here are very real, and at the same
time, for many it may be that they might be similarly hurt in a different
way by trying to avoid hurting you.  Others you mention are facts of life
for some people, and the only option left in their case is to try to move
on and find ways around it.

I think there is a lot to the old definition that it is physical harm
that is unquestionably actionable.  When you get to the realm of words,
the very restraint against offending another person is itself an offense.
 Nevertheless, you still own your words, and are responsible for them, so
although a restraint punishing you merely for having said them is wrong,
the consequences of saying them may not be worthwhile.

Consider the classic free speech case of shouting "Fire!" in a crowded
theatre.  Per free speech you certainly have the right to say it, but
chances are high that if you are believed someone will be trampled in the
stampede.  Should someone be trampled to death in such a case, murder
charges would be appropriate.  Even if you get lucky and no one is hurt,
billing you for a free ticket to another show for all the people who had
their show disrupted might be in order.

> The mental pain is a perceived one and with change of perception you can
> alleviate the pain.

This is true... and easier said than done.

Well, it seems I may have further derailed the topic, but since I'm not
sure how to title it so it will be easier to find in the future, and the
title covers random wanderings through the weeds, I'll let it pass. :)


Tor Chantara
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